here and there

HERE AND THERE    (text attributions)

 

THIS LINE AT WHICH WE MUST STAND UNTIL WE ARE

ALLOWED TO WALK ACROSS AND GIVE OUR PAPERS

TO BE EXAMINED BY AN OFFICER WHO IS ENTITLED TO

ASK US MORE OR LESS ANYTHING  AT THE FRONTIER

OUR LIBERTY IS STRIPPED AWAY WE HOPE TEMPORARILY

AND WE ENTER THE UNIVERSE OF CONTROL   EVEN THE

FREEST OF SOCIETIES ARE UN FREE AT THE EDGE WHERE

THINGS AND PEOPLE GO OUT AND OTHER THINGS AND

PEOPLE COME IN   WHERE ONLY THE RIGHT THINGS AND

PEOPLE MUST GO IN AND OUT   HERE AT THE EDGE WE

SUBMIT TO SCRUTINY   TO INSPECTION   TO JUDGMENT

THESE PEOPLE GUARDING THESE LINES MUST TELL US

WHO WE ARE   WE MUST BE PASSIVE   DOCILE   TO BE

OTHERWISE IS TO BE SUSPECT AND AT THE FRONTIER TO

COME UNDER SUSPICION IS THE WORST OF ALL POSSIBLE

CRIMES   WE STAND AT THE DANGEROUS EDGE OF THINGS

THIS IS WHERE WE MUST PRESENT OURSELVES AS SIMPLE

AS OBVIOUS   I AM COMING HOME   I AM ON A BUSINESS

TRIP   I AM VISITING MY GIRLFRIEND   IN EACH CASE WHAT

WE MEAN WHEN WE REDUCE OURSELVES TO THESE

SIMPLE STATEMENTS IS I AM NOT ANYTHING YOU NEED TO

BOTHER ABOUT REALLY I AM NOT NOT THE FELLOW WHO

VOTED AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT NOR THE WOMAN

WHO IS LOOKING FORWARD TO SMOKING A LITTLE DOPE

WITH HER FRIENDS TONIGHT   NOT THE PERSON YOU FEAR

WHOSE SHOE MAY BE ABOUT TO EXPLODE   I AM ONE

DIMENSIONAL   TRULY I AM SIMPLE   LET ME PASS

 

THE WALL THAT SEPARATES THE TWO TERRITORIES

SNAKING OVER THE CRESTS OF HILLS RUNNING AWAY INTO

THE DISTANCE AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE   PART GREAT

WALL   PART GULAG   THERE IS A KIND OF BRUTAL BEAUTY

HERE THE BEAUTY OF STARKNESS   AT INTERVALS ALONG

THE WALL THERE ARE WATCHTOWERS THESE TOWERS ARE

MANNED BY ARMED MEN   WE SEE THE TINY SILHOUETTED

FIGURE OF A RUNNING MAN BEING CHASED BY OTHER MEN

IN CARS   THE STRANGE THING IS THAT ALTHOUGH THE MAN

IS CLEARLY ON THIS SIDE OF THE WALL HE IS RUNNING

BACK   NOT AWAY   HE HAS BEEN SPOTTED AND IS MORE

AFRAID OF THOSE BEARING DOWN ON HIM THAN OF THE

IMPOVERISHED LIFE HE THOUGHT HE HAD LEFT BEHIND

HE IS TRYING TO GET BACK TO UNDO HIS BID FOR FREEDOM

 

Salman Rushdie

 

 

EVERY DIRECT ROUTE TO THE INTERIOR AND

CONSEQUENTLY THE INTERIOR ITSELF IS EITHER

BLOCKED OR PREEMPTED   THE MOST YOU CAN HOPE

FOR IS TO FIND MARGINS   NORMALLY NEGLECTED

SURFACES AND RELATIVELY ISOLATED IRREGULARLY

PLACED SPOTS ON WHICH TO PUT YOURSELF   YOU CAN

ONLY DO SO THROUGH MUCH PERSEVERANCE AND

REPETITION     SO MANY HAVE ALREADY DONE THIS

AHEAD OF YOU AND IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THEIR

DISTINCTION MAY WELL APPEAR AT THE END AND

AFTER MUCH EFFORT AS A SMALL NICK   A BARELY

PERCEPTIBLE VARIATION   A SMALL JOLT   IRONY

AN IMPOSITION     ODD DECORUM

 

THE STRUCTURE OF YOUR SITUATION IS SUCH THAT BEING

INSIDE IS A PRIVILEGE THAT IS AN INFLICTION   LIKE

FEELING HEMMED IN BY THE HOUSE YOU OWN   YES AN

OPEN DOOR IS NECESSARY FOR PASSING BETWEEN INSIDE

AND OUTSIDE BUT IT IS ALSO AN AVENUE USED BY

OTHERS TO ENTER   EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE INSIDE YOUR

WORLD THERE IS NO PREVENTING OTHERS FROM GETTING

IN   OVERHEARING YOU   DECODING YOUR PRIVATE

MESSAGES   VIOLATING YOUR PRIVACY

 

WHAT DO YOU DO THEN   YOU TRY TO GET USED TO

LIVING ALONG SIDE OUTSIDERS AND ENDLESSLY

ATTEMPTING TO DEFINE WHAT IS YOURS ON THE INSIDE

WE ARE A PEOPLE OF MESSAGES AND SIGNALS   OF

ALLUSIONS AND INDIRECT EXPRESSION   WE SEEK EACH

OTHER OUT BUT BECAUSE OUR INTERIOR IS ALWAYS

TO SOME EXTENT OCCUPIED AND INTERRUPTED BY

OTHERS WE HAVE DEVELOPED A TECHNIQUE OF SPEAKING

THROUGH THE GIVEN   EXPRESSING THINGS OBLIQUELY

AND SO MYSTERIOUSLY AS TO PUZZLE EVEN OURSELVES

 

WE SEEM UNSETTLED POISED FOR DEPARTURE

NOW WHAT   NOW WHERE   IT IS OUR TRANSIENCE AND

IMPERMANENCE THAT OUR VISIBILITY EXPRESSES

FOR WE CAN BE SEEN AS FIGURES FORCED TO PUSH ON TO

ANOTHER HOUSE VILLAGE OR REGION   JUST AS WE ONCE

WERE TAKEN FROM ONE HABITAT TO A NEW ONE

WE CAN BE MOVED AGAIN

 

Edward Said

 

 

I AM FORTY FIVE YEARS OLD AND I CANNOT LEAVE MY

PLACE OF RESIDENCE WITHOUT PERMISSION   I DO NOT

CARRY KEYS   SOMETIMES THERE ARE BAD PATCHES

DURING ONE BAD PATCH I SLEPT IN THIRTEEN DIFFERENT

BEDS IN TWENTY NIGHTS   AT SUCH TIMES A GREAT WILD

JANGLE FILLS YOUR BODY   AT SUCH TIMES YOU BEGIN TO

COME UNSTUCK FROM YOUR SELF   I HAVE LEARNED TO LET

THINGS GO   THE ANGER   THE BITTERNESS   THEY WILL

COME BACK LATER I KNOW WHEN THINGS ARE BETTER

ILL DEAL WITH THEM THEN   RIGHT NOW MY VICTORY LIES

IN NOT BEING BROKEN   IN NOT LOSING MY SELF   I HAVE

BEEN FIGHTING AS HARD AS I CAN TO LIVE LIKE THIS IS

TO FEEL DEMEANED EVERY DAY TO FEEL LITTLE TWISTS OF

HUMILIATION ACCUMULATING AROUND YOUR HEART

 

TO LEAVE AND BE AN HOUR LATER IN A NORMAL CITY

TO GET INTO A TAXI AT THE AIRPORT   TO RIDE IN TRAFFIC

REGULATED BY TRAFFIC SIGNALS ALONG STREETS LINED

WITH BUILDINGS THAT HAVE INTACT ROOFS   UNSHELLED

WALLS   GLASS IN THE WINDOWS   TO FLIP ON THE LIGHT

SWITCH IN YOUR HOTEL ROOM   TO USE A TOILET AND

FLUSH IT AFTERWARD   TO RUN THE BATH   YOU HAVE

NOT HAD A BATH IN SEVERAL WEEKS   AND HAVE WATER

HOT WATER COME OUT OF THE TAP   TO TAKE A STROLL

AND SEE SHOPS AND PEOPLE WALKING LIKE YOU AT A

NORMAL PACE   TO BUY SOMETHING IN A SMALL GROCERY

STORE WITH FULLY STOCKED SHELVES   TO ENTER A

RESTAURANT AND BE GIVEN A MENU     ALL THIS SEEMS

SO BIZARRE AND UPSETTING THAT FOR AT LEAST FORTY

EIGHT HOURS YOU FEEL DISORIENTED   AND VERY ANGRY

TO SPEAK WITH PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO KNOW

WHAT YOU KNOW   DON’T WANT YOU TO TALK ABOUT

THE SUFFERINGS   BEWILDERMENT   TERROR   AND

HUMILIATION   OF THE INHABITANTS OF THE CITY YOU HAVE

JUST LEFT   AND EVEN WORSE WHEN YOU RETURN TO

YOUR OWN NORMAL CITY AND YOUR FRIENDS SAY

OH YOU ARE BACK I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU

TO REALIZE THAT THEY DO NOT WANT TO KNOW EITHER

TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN NEVER REALLY EXPLAIN

TO THEM   NEITHER HOW TERRIBLE IT IS THERE   NOR HOW

BAD YOU FEEL BEING BACK HERE   THAT THE WORLD WILL

BE FOREVER DIVIDED BETWEEN THERE AND HERE

 

Salmon Rushdie and Susan Sontag